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Thursday, July 08, 2004

Terrorists Hate our Freedoms: But Which Ones?

Personally, I hate that terrorists hate our freedom. Here in America, we have so many freedoms to enjoy. I wonder, though, if terrorists hate all of these freedoms or only some of them, and if they only hate some of our freedoms, which ones do they hate the most?(CThomas & JNoon)

Here is a partial list:

The freedom to create television shows featuring hotel-fortune heiresses and children of semi-famous musicians tromping around
America making condescending remarks about people who are not hotel-fortune heiresses or children of semi-famous musicians.

The freedom to watch these same shows.

The freedom to hold competitive eating contests.

The freedom to detain "enemy combatants" for an indefinite period of time in secret without formally charging them with any crime.

The Freedom to carry concealed weapons...oops...they like that freedom.

The freedom to purchase a gallon of soda, with a straw, and call it a Big Gulp.

The freedom to marry whomever you choose ... oh, wait, that's only a freedom in Massachusetts. Thank, heavens!

The freedom to call yourself a doctor, even when you are only a therapist, and pretend that you know diddly about weight loss. (Phil, we are talking to you, here.)

The feedom to change your name to P. Diddy.

The freedom to charge more tha $1 for an item at the Dollar Store.

The freedom to wear rayon, paisley shirts and parachute pants, even though they have quite clearly gone completely out of style.

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